Losing Who I Was
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the beginning of my journey to where I am now. And how many times before this, that I had started and stopped and started and stopped again and again and again finding the slightest motivation to be a little more active and eat a little healthier. But, a couple months later finding myself back where I started and wondering why. Why didn’t I stick with it?
As I put on the weight after marriage, I really feel like I was oblivious to what I was turning myself into in a way. And suddenly I was trapped, and felt like there was no way out. I honestly feel like I lost myself for those years of being so heavy, so weighted down physically and emotionally. Mentally I was there I remember every bit of it.
Someone close to me asked me last year in a private conversation, “What happened to the lively, silly, unique, imaginative, Karlie I used to know?” It hit me hard. I really wasn’t the same fun person I used to be. And for what? Food? Laziness?
A little while after that I found it. I found a place inside of me where I started to believe in myself again.
Maybe you are are searching for your “real” self again, or maybe you have already found that in our journey, you aren’t oblivious because you are reading this. Who is the “real” you? Imagine yourself at your best.
I watched Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition and it really related to me this week . Chris Powell’s words spoke to me:
walked for a while and then I started to run at 270 something pounds… it hurt. I could barely pick up my feet let alone the pace but I pushed myself I pushed SO HARD I kept going…… I could barely breath. I felt like throwing up. I was shaking and so angry at myself. I cried while I ran a little farther until I literally could not go another step. I knew at that moment………. that was my last day at 270 something pounds. I knew it in my heart. I imediately felt a calmness and peace. I continied to walk the rest of the way home……..and NEVER looked back.
Take all your tears and all that CRAP and DRIVE IT INTO THE WALL! Take it and put it all into your workouts. PUSH YOURSELF PAST YOUR LIMIT! LET IT OUT. Your hard work will pay off. It will. As much effort as you put into it, it will.
I DID IT. I AM DOING IT, AND I WANT EVERYONE TO JOIN ME.