Not off the wagon but not on the ball

Compared to last week’s 9 pound loss, the 3-4 pounds I lost this week got me kicking myself for not pushing myself like last week. My food was on track but my exercise lagged. Last week I hit 4500 calories burned a day. This week, the average was 3500 – 4000. It’s no wonder I didn’t get the results of last week. 1 pound = 3500 calories. 4500 calories burned – 1200 consumed = 3300 calorie deficit a day last week. 3500 – 1200 = only 2300. The math doesn’t lie. I get out of it what I put into it.

All aside, I am happy to be rid of the 4 pounds but happy and unsatisfied will push me to get 9 pounds next week.

After hitting the scale and realizing I had slacked in my tenaciousness over the week, I was frustrated, even angry with myself and took it out on my family this morning. After getting to work I felt awful for being short with my strongest supporter, my wife.

To my loving wife,

After I got into my work I was trying to figure out why this keeps happening (fights about weight loss) and I think I gained a little insight into the root of the problem. First of all, I see that you were just trying to help. I am sorry for being ultra sensitive. I know you want nothing more than for us to succeed and be happy.

Weight, in general, has always been a sensitive topic my whole life. I didn’t want to talk about it and I DEFIANTLY didn’t want anyone telling me what I was doing wrong. In this whole journey, I think the only way I have been able to cope with confronting the reality of the problem is to own the problem and the solution. Unless something is MY idea, it doesn’t resonate and doesn’t work for me on a mental level. Even explaining it doesn’t even probably make sense to you but it does to me. Even though we are on the right track, it hasn’t made taking anything that resembles criticism easier for me.

Please forgive me for snapping and being short this morning. I feel I know why I didn’t get the results I was shooting for this week because I didn’t put in the vigilance and hard work I did last week. I have no one to blame but myself and I don’t mean to take it out on my family. I guess when you are frustrated with yourself, the ones who suffer are the people who love you and are around you. Sorry, I will try and be less sensitive.

I love you Kar,
your husband, Mike

P.S. Thank you for supporting me 100% everyday by making my meals, encouraging me and most of all, walking along side me in this journey.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *